April 14, 2006
Thank you for visiting Sadly Normal!
Sadly Normal's Mission
About Me - The Humble, Pretty Version
The Ugly Truth About Child Sexual Abuse &
Me
Dedication
Our first
Mission: to heal our bodies, minds, hearts and souls,
so that we may live normal, healthy and HAPPY lives,
AND
to help survivors who haven't found their voice
to break their silence and help them heal.
Our second
Mission: to encourage state lawmakers all around the country to
introduce and pass legislation to amend state laws, codes, statutes
so Adult Survivors are able to seek justice for the crimes against them.
The current laws in most states are ancient and barbaric,
and do not reflect the
real problem.
We need the law to allow
us the ability to heal when we finally feel safe.
We need justice as part of our healing process.
We need justice so that we may have closure.
We need justice so that we can finally get the monsters off the streets!
We deserve justice!
I'm Franki, and I am an adult survivor of
child sexual abuse.
Those used to be the hardest words I ever had to say. It was the hardest reality
I ever had to accept. And it was the most brutal thing I ever had to face.
Facing it and healing it, however, has been my most rewarding
accomplishment.
Last year, I began a journey I didn't even know I wanted to take, let alone knew was possible. I just knew I had to do something. I found out at the beginning of the journey, I was text book as far as being a survivor of child sexual abuse. Who knew? Eventually my relief (yes, I said relief) turned to anger as I learned about the laws. I knew I wanted to do something about the ancient, barbaric laws that stand in 40 of the 50 states.
I began by writing every single legislator in my state. When I received a positive response from many of the legislators, I started a campaign and began writing the legislators in all 50 states. (I have about 10 states left.) I received a much bigger response than I could have ever expected. From this, the concept of Sadly Normal was born.
I have been struggling with what else I wanted to say here. I'm still not completely sure, but I wrote an email this morning to another survivor, and I feel it represents who I am, the choices I have made, and why I am so determined to do this site. I could tell you my sad life story (as Rep Jaros from Minnesota said), but it's really nothing out of the ordinary, as far as abuse victims go. I am proud of myself for surviving through the abuse, but I am even prouder of myself for the accomplishments I have made towards my healing. I have a long way to go, and probably always will, but I plan on keeping my focus on the victories and triumphs, not the flashbacks and the memories. This site is one of my triumphs, and hopefully will inspire other survivors to do what we can to make the changes that we need made. The email is below... I did correct mistakes I made (typos) so that I don't appear to be an idiot to everyone!
You know what... thank you for not saying sorry! I am so sick of that look of pity and the sorry you get from people who don't know what else to say. Now I tell them to congratulate me. I'm healing! And when I talk to other people who are beginning to heal, I congratulate them. They look at me with this alien look, but when I explain to them it is because they are saving their own life, ...
If only we could go back.... but even if we did... what could we change? Really? I would still be an 8 year old little girl who trusts her father like any little girl should. I would have to know what I know now in order to change anything. I cant live in the what ifs. I have to live with the cards I was dealt, learn from it, and go on. Its a choice we make. I can choose to be the victim for the rest of my life, or I can choose to fight back. I have chosen to fight back. To be a survivor.... he wont get the rest of my life. He's had too much of that as it is. I WIN! Not him!"
Thank you for reading. I will probably change it or add to it or something at a later date. I hope it inspires just one other survivor to get on his or her legislator's butt, and let's get this ball rolling.
Be Gentle to You!
Very
sincerely,
Franki
I would like to dedicate this site to every survivor of child sexual abuse. I hope those of us who have found our voice can help the ones who haven't been able to speak out and break their silence, and get the help needed to move beyond the victimization into survivorhood!
I would also like to dedicate this site to those who have supported me, held my hand, and allowed to me cry every single tear.
Carol and Mike, thank you for showing me the tools, and helping me find the strength and courage within myself to get to where I am now. I hope I continue to grow, and make you both proud.
Barry, thank you for your friendship, your caring and your compassion. They say some people enter your life at just the right time, for just the right reason. That would be you. I can't imagine those first 3 months without your support. You never once said poor baby, or treated me like a victim. You listened to me, even when I didn't know what I was saying. Your friendship has meant the world to me, and always will.
Mom, You have been my biggest supporter, and have allowed and encouraged me to follow my dreams and to do what I need to do. This time has been so important to me, perhaps more important than any other time in my life. Without your support and understanding, and the nudge to head down this path, I don't know that I'd be around anymore. I would not have made it as far as I did before, and I could not have made it this far now without your love and acceptance. Thank you for listening to me, and believing me when I told you what happened. It is one of the most important things anyone can do for a survivor. Thank you for giving me this time I need to heal, to find myself, and to blossom. Thank you for everything you have done, and every sacrifice you have made, and continue to make. I love you with all of my heart.