Sadly Normal's Mission

One of Sadly Normal's goals is to encourage survivors to heal. Our own healing is the single most important thing we can do, and should be our first priority.

The second purpose of this site is to encourage survivors and families and friends of survivors to contact each of their state legislators, and tell them what is important to us. Our goal is No Statute of Limitations for Child Sexual Abuse in every state.

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What does it mean to lobby?

In order to effect change in the laws and the statutes of limitations for child sexual abuse, it is important our legislators (state law makers) know the opinions of their constituents (the people who live in their district). If we don't tell them what is important to us, then they don't know.

Each legislator sits on several committees. Each bill is assigned to a specific committee that researches and studies the bill, and then they vote on whether to defeat it, hold it for further study, or, send it to the full Assembly or Senate for further vote. In order to influence the lawmakers to pass or defeat the bills we want, we need to let them know our opinions. Therefore, we need to know who is on the relevant committees, so that we can contact them, even if they aren't from our own district.

Legislators, because of the high volume of correspondence they get on a daily basis, tend to pay attention to their own constituents first, UNLESS the opinion and facts you are presenting are favoring a bill they are sponsoring or cosponsoring, or trying to have passed. They are generally more than willing to speak with you and share with you the issues that are preventing a bill from passing that they have sponsored. If the bill isn't passing because other legislators are knocking it down, contact the other legislators and share your opinions with them. Convince them why it needs to pass.

There are bills introduced that address the issues, but resolve only a portion of the problem. For instance, a Legislator in New York has introduced a bill that extends the statute of limitations from 5 years after the survivor's 18th birthday, or age 23, to 15 years after the survivor's birthday, or age 33. This, in theory, sounds great, but when it stands next to the facts, it really doesn't address the issue. The fact is that many survivors are well into their thirties and forties before they are able to break their silence, or even remember the abuse. This would not be a very effective law, and therefore, we should push to have that bill revised or defeated. Contacting the appropriate legislators and expressing our opinions can influence  the law makers to make the right decisions.

Some states have no statute of limitations for child sexual abuse. Virginia is one of those states, but they won't allow testimony in one survivor's case from another survivor abused in another state, even though that testimony would reinforce the first survivor's case. A predator is walking free because of this law. These types of loopholes need to be adjusted as well. 

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Why should I lobby my state legislators? 

It is important that we tell the legislators in all 50 states and what we NEED! We NEED to be able to heal when we finally feel safe, when we are mentally ready to face the demons. The lies we were told and manipulations that were used against us by our abusers resonate in our minds until we are finally able to realize exactly what they were, what they were meant to do, and the harm they actually caused us.

We NEED justice. We NEED to be able to stand up for that child we were who was hurt so badly, physically, emotionally, and mentally, when we finally feel we can protect that child. We NEED to be able to face the monster, and stop that monster from continuing the abuse! We NEED the laws to reflect the actual issues.

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How do I lobby my state legislators?

First you need to know what you want and the reason why you want it. You need to believe strongly in your reasoning, and be able to back your reasons up with facts.

Find out what the laws currently are, what bills, if any, have been written and introduced, and what you feel is right or wrong with them.

Write a letter to be used as the basis of all contact. In your letter, state your purpose. Write what law(s) you feel need to be changed, and why. Include facts from reputable sources and include some of your personal experience. Remember, you can influence a legislator's vote by giving him or her information.

If there are no bills currently written, contact the Assemblyperson(s) in your district. Contact can be made by email, postal mail, phone calls, or request a face-to-face meeting. You can always think big, and contact every legislator, however most legislators respond first to their own constituents, unless your issue is one they are particularly interested in.

If there is already a bill introduced, contact each legislator on the committee it has been assigned to, referencing the bill by its assigned number. Sometimes the bill may be assigned to more than one committee. If that is the case, contact each legislator on each committee. You may also contact the Sponsor (the legislator who introduced the bill) and Co-Sponsors, if there are any, and tell them you support their bill, and why.

When the bill is passed on to the full Assembly or Senate, contact as many legislators as you can, and convince them to vote for the bill in the manner you feel is appropriate.

When the bill passes through the Assembly and goes on to the Senate, it goes through a similar process. Continue contacting the Senators who are on the committee(s), and eventually, the full Senate.

When the bill passes through both houses, it goes to the Governor to be signed into law. Make contact with the Governor and make sure he knows your opinion, and work to influence him to sign the bill into law.

In all correspondence with any legislator, make sure you include your name, address, phone number, and email address so they can respond to you.

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How do I use Sadly Normal to help me?

Sadly Normal is designed to easily find the information needed to lobby the legislators for each state. Click on your state to the left. This will bring you to the state's main page. On this page you will find important news about what is going on in that state.

If you click on Criminal Laws or Civil Laws on the left, you will find the current laws for that state regarding child sexual abuse. I will also post comments as needed.

Click on Legislature, and you will find responses from legislators both in favor of and against changing the laws. I invite you to write them, and tell them how you feel. I also invite you to share any responses you get from a legislator with Sadly Normal.

Click on In the Assembly to see what relevant bills have been introduced and assigned to which committees. The bill number and any resolutions for each bill will be available.

Click on In the Senate to see where each bill stands, its assigned number, committees it has been assigned to, and any resolutions that have been made.

Click on Contact List to find contact information for each legislator and the governor. Email lists are already prepared, as provided, and will be updated as needed as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there are a few states who don't have direct email addresses, but I have dealt with those on an individual basis. I do ask that if you have any problems with the links or email lists that you let me know. Please include the state in which the problem is in your correspondence with me. 

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Why should I encourage others to lobby state legislators?

The more voices, opinions and information the legislators receive from their constituents, the stronger the influence is on the legislator. Encouraging family, friends and other survivors to lobby gives us a stronger voice in the state legislators.

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